I was once happy and carefree and young

And I lived in a place called the Valley of Vung

And nothing, not anything ever went wrong

Until � well, one day I was walking along

And I guess I got careless. I guess I got gawking

At daisies and not looking where I was walking �

And that�s how it�s started.

Sock! What a shock!

I stubbed my big toe

On a very hard rock

And I flew through the air

And I went for a sail

And I sprained the main bone

In the tip of my tail!

Now, I never had ever had

Troubles before.

So I said to myself,

�I don�t want any more.

�If I watch out for rocks

With my eyes straight ahead

I�ll keep out of trouble

Forever,� I said.

But watching ahead �

Well, it just didn�t work.

I was watching those rocks. Then I felt a hard jerk.

A very fresh green-headed Quilligan Quail

Sneaked up from the back and went after my tail!

And I learned there are troubles

Of more than one kind.

Some come from ahead

And some come from behind.

So I said to myself, �Now, I�ll just have to start

To be twice as careful and be twice as smart.

I�ll watch out for trouble in front and back sections

By aiming my eyeballs in different directions.�

I found this to be

Quite a difficult stunt.

But now I was safe

Both behind and in front.

Then NEW troubles came!

From above!

And below!

A Skritz at my neck!

And a Skrink at my toe!

And now I was really in trouble, you know.

The rocks! And the Quail!

And the Skritz! And the Skrink!

I had so many troubles, I just couldn�t think!

There I was,

All completely surrounded by trouble,

When a chap rumbled up in a One-Wheeler Wubble.

�Young fellow,� he said, �What has happened to you

Has happened to me and to other folks, too.

So I�ll tell you what I have decided to do�

I�m off to the City of Solla Sollew

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo.

Where they never have troubles! At least, very few.

�It is not very far.

And my camel is strong.

He�ll get us there fast.

So hop on! Come along!�

I jumped up behind him. Then all through that day

The Wubbble wubbled on in a wubble-some way/

The road got more bumpy, more rocky, more tricky.

By midnight, I tell you, my stomach felt icky.

And so I said, �Mister, please, when do we get

To that wonderful town? Aren�t we almost there yet?�

�Young fellow,� he told me, �don�t get in a stew.

At sunrise, we�ll drive into Solla Sollew

And you�ll have no more troubles. I promise. I do.

But, when dawn finally came and the darkness got light,

That wonderful city was nowhere in sight.

Instead of the city, we ran into trouble.

Our camel was sick and he started to bubble.

We had to pull him in the One-Wheeler Wubble!

So there, there we were in a dreadful position.

Our camel now needed a camel physician.

Now, doctors for camels are not often seen

Especially on mountains. They�re far, far between.

But we pulled that old Wubble and set out to find

Some doctor, while dragging our camel behind.

I pulled, pulled and pulled. Then the next thing I knew,

I was pulling the camel and Wubble chap too!

�Now, really!� I thought, �this is rather unfair!�

But he said, �Don�t you fuss. I am doing my share.

�This is called teamwork. I furnish the brains.

You furnish the muscles, the aches and the pains.

I�ll pick the best roads, tell you just where to go

And we�ll find a good doctor more quickly, you know.�

Then he sat and he worked with his brain and his tongue

And he bossed me around just because I was young.

He told me go left. Then he told me go right.

And that�s what he told me all day and all night.

Next morning we located Dr. Sam Snell,

Who knew all about tonsils and camels as well.

Our camel, he said, had a bad case of gleeks

And should lie flat in bed for at least twenty weeks.

I was tired. How I wanted to crawl in that bed!

But the Wubble chap sent me away and he said,

�Your troubles are practically all at an end.

Just run down that hill and around the next bend

And you�ll come to the Happy Way Bus Route, my friend.

The Happy Way Bus leaves at 4:42

And will take you directly to Solla Sollew

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo,

Where they never have troubles. At least, very few.�

Well�

The bus stop was there. And that part was just fine.

But tacked on a stick was a very small sign

Saying, �Notice to Passengers Using our Line:

We are sorry to say that our driver, Butch Meyers,

Ran over four nails and has punctured all tyres.

So until further notice, the 4:42

Cannot possibly take you to Solla Sollew�.

�But I wish you a most pleasant journey by feet.

Signed

Bus Line President, Horace P. Sweet.�

So I went on by feet, thanks to Horace P. Sweet.

And that Horace P. Sweet almost ruined my feet!

A hundred miles later

My feet were so sore!

THEN, wouldn�t you know it!

It started to pour!

I was drenched to the skin when a chap in a slicker

Splashed up and he yelled, �It�s the Midwinter Jicker!

The Midwinter Jicker came early this year

And it�s not going to be very comfy �round here.

Any fool would get out! So I�ve packed up my things

And I�m off to my granddaddy�s, out in Palm Springs.

Take cover!� he yelled, �Use my house if you wish.�

Then the chap in the slicker splashed off like a fish.

I ran in the house and I fell in a heap.

I needed my rest, but I just couldn�t sleep.

Did you ever sleep, when your feet were like ice,

With a family of owls and a family of mice?

I listened all night to the growls and the yowls

And the chattering teeth of those mice and those owls,

While the Midwinter Jicker howled horrible howls.

I tossed and I flipped and I flopped and I flepped.

It was quarter past five when I finally slept.

Then I dreamed I was sleeping on billowy billows

Of soft silk and satin marshmallow-stuffed pillows.

I dreamed I was sleeping in Solla Sollew

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo,

Where they never have troubles. At least, very few.

Then I woke up

And it just wasn�t true

I was crashing downhill in a flubbulous flood

With suds in my eyes and my mouth full of mud

And my nose full of water, my ears full of shrieks

Of the owls flying off with the mice in their beaks!

And I said to myself, �Now I really don�t see

Why troubles like this have to happen to me!�

I floated twelve days without toothpaste or soap.

I practically, almost had given up hope

When someone up high shouted, �Here! Catch the rope!�

Then I knew that my troubles had come to an end

And I climbed up the rope, calling, �Thank you, my friend!�

I got to the top. But it wasn�t a friend!

And I saw that my troubles were not at an end.

A big man on a horse scared me out of my wits.

He bellowed, �I�m general Genghis Kahn Schmitz.

�There�s a war going on! And it�s time that you knew

Every lad in this land has his duty to do.

We�re marching to battle. We need you, my boy.

We�re about to attack. We�re about to destroy

The Perilous Poozer of Pomplemoose Pass!

So get into line! You�re a Private, First Class!�

He gave me a shooter

And one little bean,

Which was not very much,

If you see what I mean.

Then he yelled, �Get that Poozer! Attack without fear!

The glorious moment of victory is near!�

And the glorious general led the advance

With a glorious swish of his sword and his lance

And a glorious clank of his tin-plated pants.

Then we went �round a corner and found that, alas

There was more than one Poozer in Pompelmoose Pass!

And Genghis Kahn Schmitz shouted out to his men.

�This happens in war every now and again.

Some times you are winners. Some times you are losers.

We never can win against so many Poozers

And so I suggest that it�s time to retreat!�

And the army raced off on its tin-plated feet.

There I was!

With more Poozers than I�d ever seen!

There I was!

With my shooter and only one bean!

There I was!

And I thought, �Will I ever get through

To the wonderful city of Solla Sollew

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo,

Where they never have troubles, at least very few?�

I had terrible trouble in staying alive.

Then I saw an old pipe that said, �Vent Number Five.�

I didn�t have time to find out what that meant,

But the vent had a hole. And the hole�s where I went.

Well� that vent where I went

Was a sort of a funnel

That led me down into

A frightful black tunnel.

The traffic down there

Was a mess, I must say,

With billions of birds

Going all the wrong way.

They bumped me with bikes

And they banged me with dishes.

I ran into ladders,

Beds, bottles and fishes.

I skidded on rubbish.

I fell in a horn.

Troubles! I wished

I had never been born!

I was down there three days in that bird filled-up place.

At least eight thousand times, I fell smack on my face.

I injured three fingers, both thumbs and both lips,

My shinbone, my backbone, my wishbone and hips!

What�s more, I was starved. I had nothing to eat.

And damp! Was it damp! I grew moss on my feet!

Then just when I thought I could stand it no more,

By chance I discovered a tiny trap door!

I popped my head out. The great sky was sky-blue

And I knew, from the flowers, I�d finally come through

To the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo!

I couldn�t be far, now, from Solla Sollew!

There it was! With it�s glittering towers in the air!

I�d made it! I�d done it! At last I was there!

And I knew that I�d left all my troubles behind

When a chap at a doorway that shimmered and shined

Waved me a wave that was friendly and kind.

�Welcome!� he said as he gave me his hand.

�Welcome, my son, to this beautiful land.

Welcome to sweet, sunny Solla Sollew,

Where we never have troubles.

At least very few.

As a matter of fact, we have only just one.

Imagine! Just one little trouble, my son.

And this one little trouble,

As you will now see,

Is this one little trouble I have with this key�

�There is only one door into Solla Sollew

And we have a Key-Slapping Slippard. We do!

This troublesome Slippard moved into my door

Two weeks ago Tuesday at quarter to four.

Since then, I can�t open this door any more!

And I can�t kill the Slippard. It�s very bad luck

To kill any Slippard, and that�s why we�re stuck

And why no one gets in and the town�s gone to pot.

It�s a terrible state of affairs, is it not!

�And so,� said the Doorman of Solla Sollew,

�My job at the door here is finished. I�m through!

And I�ll tell you what I have decided to do�

I�m leaving,� he said, �leaving Solla Sollew

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo,

Where we never have troubles, at least very few.

And I�m off to the city of Boola Boo Ball

On the banks of the beautiful river Woo-Wall,

Where they never have troubles! No troubles at all!

Come on along with me,� he said as he ran,

�And you�ll never have any more troubles, young man!�

I�d have no more troubles�

That�s what the man said.

So I started to go.

But I didn�t.

Instead�

I did some quick thinking

Inside of my head.

Then I started back home

To the Valley of Vung.

I know I�ll have troubles.

I�ll, maybe, get stung.

I�ll always have troubles.

I�ll, maybe, get bit

By that Green-Headed Quail

On the place where I sit.

But I�ve bought a big bat.

I�m all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going

To have troubles with ME!

By Dr. Seuss (The one and only God)>