Okay the reason I haven't been writing much on here, for the record, is because there's some personal stuff that I don't really want to write about now so many people have access to it.

But I guess now I'll write. But only because the things that are important to me today aren't necessarily the same things that were important to me yesterday.

Okay, to write about everything I'm going to have to turn my music off, cause some pretty deep stuff is about to go in here. (Well deep for me anyway)

Okay.. well lets start with the least mind befuzzling thing first. Randy. I asked him how far he's gone with a girl yesterday, and he said fingering. Which is really strange. It's not like I mind, but the idea is SO strange. I can't imagine him doing anything sexual. I can't imagine him doing more than getting turned on by porn or kissing somebody. It's just.. weird.. I mean he's Randy. It's a bit like thinking about your dad fingering your mum.. I mean gross. And the other thing is I don't think it would be half so weird if he'd had sex.. I don't know why. I think it's because it would be more equal, both giving and receiving. But I mean.. his hands have been near a girls vagina! That is such an odd thought! Actually I think it might just be weird because I've known him for a year and I didn't know that until now. Also I think part of it might be the thought of having a life outside the internet.. but I don't think it's really that, because I mean I know about things he does.. it's just.. weird. And that was my little rant explaining why.

Ooh Ransall drew a picture of a cute white mouse who looks black with the name of Anniekins. He did one of a squirrel named Nibblix too, and he plans to do one of a frog named Smecky.

Oh and I'm over a 5th of my way to 100 stars too by the way, I have 22.

Okay now for the (semi) deep stuff. How the HELL does the human mind work? I mean it seems to work on so many different levels. Part of it controls your body, part of it causes you to make choices, part of it is your memory, part of it is your vision, your hearing.. it's so complex.

And even something like memory can be split up. You have short term and you have long term, but how about the things in the back of your mind that you only remembered when jogged, how about the things that only need a little tiny thing to be jogged. I mean you remember what happened 3 months ago less well than you remember what happened yesterday but you remember it better than what happened 10 years ago.

Okay okay, memory isn't actually what I'm thinking about, it's choices. Tristan made my mind all confused and fucked up. I mean he claims you can choose whether to like pain or not, but naturally you don't like pain. Pain is meant for you not to enjoy. But at the same time I kind of get where he's coming from. It's really confusing though. I like the thought that I learn from him though, i like the thought that I learn from anybody, whether I like them, hate them, am indifferent about them. Whether I learn from their actions or from their words and whether I learn by agreeing with them, or by disagreeing with them. I like learning I guess.

---Later Comments On Entry--- 20/08/03 Fuck you Tristan, you confusing bastard.>