How would you describe to somebody who had never felt an itch what an insect bite felt like? Perhaps like a kind of uncomfortable and more sharp tickle underneath the skin which only goes away once you dig hard at it, usually with your nails. Scratch at it if you will. But it soon then comes back to join you, and yet it seems like it is worth the temporary relief.

That's kind of what I feel like.

There's a sharp itching at the back of my brain, a fear, and it's only cured when I temporarily claw it away with other thoughts. But it comes back. No matter how much you want to, nobody is successful in staying ignorant. Not deep down, and the scratching only causes more pain in the end.

I remember 2 dreams from last night, but one was so real that I only know that it wasn't from looking at the length of my nails.

The less real one was of being somewhere with Kalim, I think maybe on a boat. And he is in a bad mood, and I'm trying to make conversation, but he just ignores me, or on occasion tells me that I smell until I give up on conversing.

The other was just that I was cutting my nails. They need to be cut, but it was so real. I'm almost sure that it actually happened although my nails claim otherwise.

When I am dictator of the world, I'm going to have a pet cat. It's going to be a tabby cat and I will name her ... I don't know ... Morgana, I'll name her Morgana. Such a pretty name. But she'll be my love, I'll live with her in my lonely castle, my prison. She will take my being. My soul. My soul will be haunted by that of a poor wet cat, left out in the rain as a kitten but unable to speak of her traumas to a therapist. Poor dear.

She has nice nails. Cats always have nice nails. Nice and sharp, adapted by nature to tear the flesh off their prey. They're so well built as well, while humans seem so clumsy.

We can't walk down the street without tripping over our shoe laces.>