I've made a decision.

I'm not Annie today.

I'm somebody different.

I am....

A 24 year old married Jewish black man from Russia, named Chastity (my parents named me this in the hope that I would find somebody who looked past my stupid name and loved me for me. It backfired. Girls love my stupid name). I struggled with alcoholism and Christianity in my teen years, but it's okay, because I have now found the true path of God, and stopped my henious alcohol habits.

I'm straightedge now (Oh, Annie is too actually, she randomly decided that on the spur of the moment a few days ago) and more importantly I'm environmentally concious.

To the extent that I don't use electricity.

This is how I met my wife actually. My house was painted black and red and had candles everywhere. She's a satanist. But she's attractive.

I'm a designer in a toy company (Don't call me a hypocrite, the world needs toys, I don't need light) I design barbie clothes, but to keep my street cred, I usually tell people I work at an art gallery or something.

You may laugh, but remember, anything is better than barbieclothes designing.

I have an obsession with elephants. They're such an attractive species. When I see an elephant I start thinking "Why can't I be big and attractive and masculine like that?" Even if it's a girly elephant (And it's pretty easy to tell with elephants)

My wife Kathrine doesn't like elephants. She doesn't like anything unelss it's painted black (I think she's a bit of a poser). I have a black tattoo, she likes that. It's a celtic knot, and it covers my kneecap.

I don't know why I chose to get it there, but I think it looks cool. Unique.

Once, when I was younger (Twelve) my older brother, Holiness, tried to crucify me. He was "special". He found out that one of my friends smoked Weed and well.. it went on from there. It was a lucky thing that he used string and not nails I guess.

We grew up without a mother. We lived on a farm in Moscow. My mum was killed by fairies. She laughed when her grandmother died and the king fairy was so disgusted that she did not regret the death of her own flesh and blood that he sent an army of fairies to kill her.

They couldn't pin her down and dig a knife into her stomach like they planned. She was too strong and quick. Instead when she opened her mouth to scream they all flew in at once, into her airways. She suffocated to death.

Since then my father has been on a mission to kill all fairies. He has.. let's see.. four so far. He nailed them to the walls. They're starting to decompose now.

He's a little bit insane. And old fasioned, he disowned my baby (19 year old) sister because she joined the army. Katherine says that's okay because anybody who voluntarily kills other people doesn't deserve to be loved. Some satanist she is.

Oh and just because she's against killing humans does not mean that she doesn't lack in morality. She kneeled on my pet dog I'd had for 10 years and suffocated him to death while I had no choice but to watch (I was ah.. chained to the bed) She had Creed - My Sacrifice, playing in the background.

A woman of many many layers. I think I'm in love with her. The heartless needless murderer of innocent animals. Animals that I loved too. But she was right, I was willing to sacrifice Bruno for that evil bitch.

So what else? My favourite band is Rasputina, followed by Linkin park followed by Mozart. It's more fun when you play all three at the same time though, interesting combination of sounds. Especially if you throw Eminem into the mix. It just makes me tingle.

It makes the hairs on my back and the fingers on my hand stand up straight in salutation to the God that is the God of Music. And then my lip trembles when I realise that I'm going to hell not only for blasphemy but also for admitting to having a God other than the one and only (Excuse me for five minutes while I say a prayer)

I'm back, I'm back. Anyway, what else to say? I'm 5'3 and my girlfriend is 5'8. It certainly makes life interesting. People stare at us sometimes. But that's usually because of Katherine's hair rather than our heights. She shaved half of it off and the other half is dyed bright pink but she lets it grow without ever brushing it.

Well, you've heard all about me now. I don't suppose that I'll be back any time soon, but hey maybe you'll get somebody elses life story at another point.

Annie will be back tomorrow.

Chastity>