Nathan is an asshole. I tried desperately to believe that he wasn't, I tried desperately to make up some kind of fucking excuse for him, I tried to force myself to believe that there is bias, and that there are two sides to every story, and you know what, it failed. I am a failure. Nathan is a fucking asshole who slap me if I let myself be friends with him. Just fucking kill me. I'm weak, but I'm not that weak. I won't be that weak. I let myself go when it came to Tamzin, I let myself be a slave to... retardedness. I let myself be a slave to her viciousness, by the time I realised what she was, it was too late, I was already as good as in love with her, but fuck me if I let myself become like that with Nathan. Why am I drawn to biggots like him? Don't fucking ask me.

Other than that, all is bad. I don't know how to use words properly, I never know what to say, words hate me. I hate myself. I love myself. I can't find any emotional stability. I can't stay in one place. I let my every flaw bring me down, and my successes mean nothing to me at all. I always think I have it all worked out, and I'm always wrong.>