Long sleeves came off today. It's still noticeable. I mean, yeah, Becky noticed, and other people probably did too, just didn't say anything, but... I feel it's time. Time to stop being pathetic. People notice, people notice. Just happens. So... awkwardness all round, but at least I'm not hiding anything. So long as I don't reopen them, the scars will fade.

Ryan and I had oh so many coke floats yesterday. They were disgusting and sickening and yet ever so addictive. They made me hyper. Then my mum accused me of being anorexic. And Ryan said that maybe she was right, I was just stood there thinking, "What the fuck?" I'd just eaten half a tub of icecream, half a packet of cookies and a coke! I can't win...

I need to write something. A story or a poem or anything, I need to express myself, because I'm having problems doing that normally at the moment. I want to make a film. I really want to make a film. Why can't I be rich or something?

I had a conversation with my teacher about my love for sociopaths, and how I love them the same way I love capitalists, which is why I love monopoly, but how I could never do that in real life, because I'm not actually that kind of person. He pointed out that's probably why I want to be a drugs councillor and not the owner of McDonalds. Because I'm a genuinely nice person who wants to help people, not a sleazy capitalist. But I'm not sure. I think in different circumstances, I could be a genuinely sleazy capitalist who now and again had a desire to help somebody.>