You know what I really hate? When people tell you that you make yourself the victim.

I know that sometimes it can be true when it comes to me, but you know what, I know when it's true, I know when I'm doing it and I don't go bitching and whining about it afterwards. When that's not what I'm doing at all, I find it positively offensive when people try saying it.

Let me clairify. i know I just kind of started writing this thing on the spur of the moment, so let me just explain my life quickly.

I live in England, so for all you Yanks (I'm sorry, is that a racist term?) who don't understand the education system, you have primary school (from ages about 5 to 11) and then secondary school from 11 to 16. Then after that education becomes optional. If you choose to continue, you either then go on to a sixth form college or the 6th form at a school. I am in year 11 (last year of compulsary education) and i have just finished the important exams that you take at the end of year 11 (GCSEs) and therefore have effectively finished school early for the summer.

Okay, here is my life.

For the past 5 years I have attended a school in inner city London, with around 2000 students, not including the 6th form. They are mostly working class. I am one of about ... we'll say 10 middle or lower middle class popele in my year group of about 250 or something.

Now as a result of this, I am also one of about 10 people who don't like rap music (And no that's not just all the middle class people) Mostly I like rock, grunge, a bit of metal etc, I also do like the occasional bit of rap and even the occasional bit of pop music (If one can call it music), but not much. I'm the only person in the school who is remotely interested in politics, and whilst I'm not the only person with a sense of individuality, it fucking well seems like it, mostly because I'm the only person who will actually express myself.

Now some of the other people who like rock music (let us call them B&K and we can pretend it's short for burger king because they're capitalist and sometimes right wing pigs) well B&K also like rap music, however Burger King does have a sense of individuality. From everyone else that is. Not from eachother. They're the same brand.

Now they think they're better than me basically, just because they don't feel the need to advertise the fact that they're different, and fair enough, they shouldn't have to. But here we get onto the making myself the victim part.

I think they think that I just think everything that I think because I've been brought up to think it. And I'm just a typical middle class person / teenager / white person / whatever other groups they can lump me into. Well okay, to some extent, I am, but also to some extent I'm really really not. Either way, I wish they would shut up sometimes. Nobody should have to put up with the crap I do.

Shall I explain that part too? If I walk across the school, or even down the street near the school, I can expect at least 3 insults. I used to get about 3 a day on my way home from school, one on my way to school, and maybe 5 or 6 a day while I was actually inside the school. And on top of that people look at me like i'm a fucking showpiece in a museum. I'm suprised I've refrained from smacking them in the face for so long.

Yeah, so basically, you know the stuff, yelling to eachother "Oi! that's your gel!" or "You're a gothic" Yes friends, the same individual for the past 4 months has been saying that to me every time I walk past him. The first time it was hillarious. I do wear a lot of black, but on that occasion, I walked past him wearing blue jeans, a red blouse and a daisy chain in my hair. Yes i am insane but that's irrelavent. I am not a "Gothic" Even if i was a goth I'd be offended by that. I kindly explained to him what a goth actually is. He said "If you're not a gothic why do you wear all that weird stuff then?" he looked at my boots. One has an orange lace and one has a green. I responded calmly, "Because I like it" to which he replied with a snicker, "Well i hate it and you are a gothic" It might sound kind of Hitleresque, but some people should be denied the right to breed.

Yeah anyway, I put up with a lot of shit. Or if it wouldn't make me sound all wimpy and geeky and pathetic: I am effectively a victim of bullying. And then you get their friends, the people who don't mock me, but are perfectly happy to watch their friends do it. They pity me I think. Sometimes I just feel like saying, "Hey, I've been putting up with this crap since I was about five and I don't think your mate is making much difference, alright? So go pity that guy over there who doesn't know the alphabet but already knows how to mug old ladies and not get caught" but oh who cares.

Well that was my rant for the day. I explained the hell i put up with when I had to go to that school (Oh and can I add that it'll be exactly the same next year at the 6th form college because it'll be exactly the same type of people. Not that I'm classist you understand. I'm moronist. And the college is about 3 minutes away, and given the local schools are the same, I'm guessing things won't change)

Well yes, tomorrow kids, I will finish telling you about my life.

A song that Burger King obviously wrote about me will finish this off

I think you like to be the victim

I think you like to be in pain

I think you make yourself the victim

Nearly every single day

-everclear->