Mornin'! well I only just got up.. ooooh.. it's only morning by about 15 minutes. but I still got there in time! Just!

I think I was meant to go out today, and the phone was continuously ringing at some point this morning, but i assumed that my mum or step dad would pick it up. Then I awoke and remembered that they were at work. IDIOT ANNIE. I could still phone now, but I'm just too tired and my back hurts and frankly I want to go back to bed.

Last night I had a nightmare. It's so weird, I never used to remember my dreams and I never used to get nightmares, but now I am, and it's all much more real as well.

Did I mention that i think I fucked up my history exam? I think I started talking about the war in Iraq when I was meant to be talking about the Watergate Scandal. What's done is done though I guess. I was increadibily tired. They asked the results of the watergate scandal and I *think* I said something like "They also limited the amount of money that could be donated to an election campaign to reduce corruption. For example to stop a big oil company from donating to a party and then expecting political favours.." I am so stupid, and my mind is so unfocussed.

My very last exam is tomorrow. Latin. It's the poetry section and some unseens. Woobloodyhoo. Oh well.. I'm sure it'll be just fine (oh who am i kidding, if I'm really lucky I'll get a D) Results come out on the 21st of August and believe me I am nervous. And plotting my suicide. I figure if I go to collect my results in the morning I can see them, and then I can jump in a fire of some kind and we'll burn together. Dramatic death.

I may be going to Devon with my dad on Saturday. Fun fun. As long as I don't have to get into any form of swimsuit. I'm just too self concious these days. I do not have a swimsuit of any kind body (let alone a bikini one) Starving myself could always be an option, but frankly that's just stupid, and you lose your figure, and I don't have much of a figure to begin with. And I can't excercise because I just do not have the strength or fitness, and also I'm too impatient for these things to work. Not to mention I lack any form of self control. Well at any rate, i'm not starting anything for at least a week after my exams, because... well i need to celebrate!!! Ah, and buy a bottle of vodka after my last one.. Me and Burgerking are gonna get pissed and possibly stoned. Cause it's all of our last exam, cause Latin is the last exam and we're the only 3 who do Latin so... (No we're not complete geeks. Ben and Kalim are just increadibly smart and I'm the stupid girl who tags along to piss around afterwards)

Ah I'm bored and tired. I'm going back to mny biography of Malcolm X and stopping thinking of trivial things like my weight. There are much more important things. LIke my teeth and my hair. No really though.. I don't think there's anyone who'd reject me for my figure, cause it's not that bad, and it's far from my worst feature. I hate it when those girls always complain they're ugly, when at least they have the thing that makes them look like other girls. Most girls look the same in some way, wheras I look completely different.. I don't have the features that all girls have. In a line of girls I would be the odd one out. But Santa Clause, okay, I'm gonna stop being shallow and I'm gonna go read.

---Later Comment On Entry--- 20/08/03 I use the phrase "Santa Clause" sometimes instead of "God" or "Jesus" because .. well I claim that it's because I'm trying not to offend religious people by being blasphemous, but really I just see Santa Clause as the childs equivalent of God. And I feel less strongly about Santa than about God.>