Howdy. Randy completely switched on Tamzin and especially Chris. It was a bit like.. I dunno.. Jerry Springer or something, Randy was saying how he'd like to rip their heads off, and I have never seen him swear so much. And his screen name was "Tamzin is a worthless whore who can go fuck herself because no human being would ever want to"

It was increadible.

And he hates her, he was saying how it scares him that he hates somebody that he hasn't met so much. It was really really scary.. but amazing, and I feel bad that I was so proud of him. He beats even Chris at violent threats. He was saying things like "Just watch, I'll be there at some point, sick all your pussy-ass friends on me at once for all I care" Then Tamzin said something like "Leave it Chris, he doesn't know our ways, he doesn't know what we can do" and he said "lol oooooh tamzin's "gangsta" now" then chris came rushing to her defence "More gangsta than you'll ever be!" eh, like randy would even wanna be *smiles happily*

On another note, in the midst of that argument it got revealed that randy carries a knife. I'm not sure if the fact he carries a knife and could get hurt or in trouble, or if his explanation for why he does worries me more. Sibz said that she trusts him to be careful though *sulks* it's easy for her to say..

On yet another note, the more serious one, Tamzin is really really fucking me up. I care about her too much, and she's using that, she's manipulating that. I had an almost normal conversation with her last night, I was pouring my heart out to her.. and it made me cry it really did, she made me cry so hard when I told her that every time I thought about her I thought about the good memories and how they were all worthless now and I had to forget them.. and she was saying that no matter what, memories can't be worthless, because they're about the person they were at that time and place.. Randy agreed on that one.. but I don't know if it's true.

Yet another thing that's bothering me.. I finally made THE promise to Randy. I e-mailed him telling him how badly she's fucking me up, and at the end of it, I ended it in the usual tradition "yer faviate person who promises she will never take heroin cause she know s she couldn'tt controle it ANNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I told him I'd promise him one day. And i promised him that if I did I'd keep the promise. *shrugs* it had to be done. I feel like I've lost something but I feel better for it. Actually I was thinking of saving the promise a few months and giving it on his birthday.. but that's a bit sappy and crappy. I promised now.. and i feel okay

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