Well today was today just as yesterday was yesterday.Today was spent out with Sibz and Sam, and then just with Sibz, and then with Sibz and Lizzie, and then just with Sibz again.

We talked about oh so many things. Randall, Tamzin, the magic roundabout.

Of the three the magic roundabout is by far my favourite.

Followed, of course, closely by Randall.

All the words in the world can't really describe how I feel right now. Or rather, they probably can, but I don't know all the words in the world.

I miss myself. What happened to me? Where did I go? I don't think Randy really cares about me. As I put it once; I am just the putty for the holes in his time. He says he does, but I don't know... it doesn't seem like he does that much. Sometimes I think that if I cut myself or had some sort of big problem that he'd like me better. I don't know why, maybe it's just that I think he'd show that he liked me more. By teling me he was worried or something. I mean he tells me that sometimes anyway, but because it's usually such a pathetic little thing it doesn't mean much.

Well I'm not about to go out and do something stupid for the attention. In fact if I go out and do soemthing stupid most likely it'll be because I'm stupid. Like him. I'm still pissed off at him for taking weed. He could so easily get caught right now. MORON.

Tamzin probably has a personality disorder you know. And I pity her. She's so normal which is the last thing that she wants. And what the hell has she really got in her life that's worth living for? She's got friends who aren't exactly friends so much as dogs, and she's got Kalim who's quite possibly on the verge of breakup with her, she's got her family, and I think she talks about how much she loves them far too much for somebody who actually does. I mean what the hell has she really got? She's a horrible person and I think she knows it, and even beneath that, she's just a normal teenage girl who thinks she's better and "deeper" than she really is. Yes I hate her, but I also pity her.

And as she said herself once upon an English lesson, "Pity is the lowest thing that you can feel for anybody"

I don't regret knowing her though. Not even one little bit. Rabid whore.

So... back to a nicer topic.. aw fuckit. there's nothing to talk about.>