I don't like this diary design. I mean I do, but I don't like the size of the textbox and I don't know how to change that by myself. Maybe I'll see if I can get Sam to give me a hand (ie do it for me)

You know, Ransy did some of my English coursework for me. It was 3 in the morning and the absolute deadline for all of my English coursework (about 6 pieces) was the next day. And I was exhausted and I was crying because I knew I couldn't do it. Oh and the only reason I was up at all is because Randy woke me up telling me I had to do my coursework. And yeah, I had to redraft loads and loads, but in the end I sent him what I had of a piece (Not much) and he completely made up a reletively decent piece of coursework out of it. I'm so lucky.

I would have been so screwed if he hadn't woken me up and done that coursework. It is impossible to know quite how grateful I really am for that. English is the one subject that I'd just been confident that I was going to get a good GCSE in, and I was on the verge of completely failing to even get one. (I'd done most of the work, but it couldn't be handed in in the state it was in) He helped me (a lot) with some English essays earlier in the year as well. He has a superior vocabulary to mine, and he phrases things so geniusly.. it's admirable. I've been working so hard to increase my vocabulary though, so that one day I can compete with the great lord RANDALL!!!

Meh, I had an argument with my mum and my step dad last night. We went out to see a movie and then to dinner with their friends Charlie and Barbera, and their kids, one of whom is 14. Afterwards I was going home and I said to my mother "Do I know some really smart 14 year olds or is Rosie stupid?" and my mum said "No! Why are you being so bitchy!?" and I said "I'm not being bitchy I'm just asking what you think" and my step dad snapped at me, and then I said "It's just that every time I said something to her I had to backtrack and explain it, which I don't have to do with Sibz or Lizzie or even Polly" and then my mum snapped at me to stop going on about it. And I said "I'm just justifying what I said. Would you rather that I said things and didn't justify them?" and my step-dad said "I'd rather you didn't say them" and then I got angry and I replied "Look! You say people are stupid all the time, and you say worse about them! And very rarely do you even attempt to justify yourself, so stop being such a hypocrite!"

Then my mum told me off for shouting in the street.

I just cannot win.

But I think Rosie is a bit stupid, I mean I really did have to explain what I meant by just about everything that I said. To use a phrase of that whore Tamzin's: She's not on my wave length. She's also all girly and flirtatious, which I have never been. She had this guy with her (Who actually really reminded me of Ryan Mcginn oddly enough. It was something about the way he smiled.) and she was wearing this pathetic strap top thing and tight jeans (and then had the nerve to bitch about her figure when she's about as slim as they come without being anorexic) and she was flirting like hell with this guy. In the cinema her legs were practically on his lap. But the bad thing about this is that if she had any faint intelligence she could see that he wasn't responding to her flirtatious attempts and wasn't even particularly enjoying them. Could this be because he has a fucking girlfriend? Who knows, but it sure as hell didn't click into Rosie's head.

I wanted to write about something else though, which is bugging me slightly more than the intelligence of some girl who I rarely even have to see. I'm begining to have problems letting people get to know too much about me. This is a result of the Tamzin thing.

Knowlege is power and Tamzin knows a lot about me, and Tamzin proved that knowlege was indeed power by abusing it. If I open myself up to anybody else, what if they abuse it as well? I could get hurt so badly. Who can I really trust? I couldn't trust Tamzin. I thought I could trust her and I couldn't. So how can I know for sure? Maybe even saying this much is giving people fuel to hurt me. Okay okay, perhaps that was just crossing the border into paranoia, but still... I left myself vulnerable once before, I can't do it again.>