Results come out on Thursday and I am SO scared. I'm so lazy. It's unbelievable. If I'd actually paid attention for fifteen minutes out of every lesson, I'd probably be fine. I know that. I know I'm intelligent. But I'm so lazy I couldn't even give that much of my time.

My mother thinks I'm going to do well and I KNOW that I'm not. It's simple as that. I know I've fucked up and nobody else does. Well I've told people, but it's like they don't believe me. They all think that I'll do better than I imagine, and I won't.

Let me quickly go through all my subjects:

Science, double GCSE - I fucked up so badly on the coursework (like grade E standard) that I'd have to get at least a good B on the exams to pass. (I already got a B on the modulars) And I don't think I did. If I don't get Science which I'M ACTUALLY GOOD AT, that's two GCSE's down the drain, just due to a crappy teacher and an insane shortage of work ethic.

English & English Lit - Well I got a very high B on the coursework (Nearly an A, thankyou Randy) so I'm at least confident that I'll pass this one. The exams didn't go quite as well, but I'm thinking Bs.

Maths - In maths I won't get anything more than a C, and if I get less than that I am going to kill my maths teacher because she made me do the higher paper. But I guess if she was that convinced that I could do it, I probably made it.

ICT, GNVQ - Well my IT teacher's been telling me that a GNVQ is worth about four GCSEs, to which I have pretty much been saying "like hell" but oh well. I am going to kill myself if I don't pass it. I didn't show up to the extra classes for finishing the work, so realy all I can do is hope.

French - I did the higher paper. I'm not higher material. I'm going to fail. Simple as.

History - Meh. B. Maybe a C.

Food Tech - Probably a C.

Latin - Err.. nothing good. I can assure you of that. At least it probably won't be a U seeing as I did the foundation paper.

So there you have it. I'm fucked. Especially as what I really need is 6 A to Cs mostly at grade B or above.

It just pisses me off because I know that I'm clever and I know that I could have done a lot better. I know that I could have gotten straight As if I'd tried hard enough, probably with a couple of A*s on the side. But I didn't. The only person I can really blame is myself. Well and Tamzin. But I'm kind of glad it happened. Kind of.>