So I made my choice and now it's up to everybody else to do the same. I basically sent Tamzin an e-mail saying that I want nothing more to do with her. It wasn't impolite (Or it wasn't intended to be that way anyhow) It basically (In as polite a way as it can be said) just said that I don't like her, will never forgive her, think that I'm better than her and that for that reason, we can never be friends again. It also made clear that I am sorry to let her go and that I would always remember the good memories with her along with the bad. She sent me back with a reply with the simple message "ok". I'd like to thank her for making it easy for me, but having expressed a desire to have nothing more to do with her, I don't think that would be a good idea.

I sincerely hope that's the end, because I'm letting go of it now. There's no point in me keeping all this worthless hate when I have so many other things that I could be worrying about.

My sister told my step dad that I hit Tamzin today. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know not to. I just told her what happened at some point because I needed to talk to somebody who didn't know, so basically I just told my sister what happened. And she randomly mentioned it to my step dad, so I had to kind of half explain what happened. But because I didn't give the whole story I think he kind of thought of it as pathetic teen squabble.

But fuck I don't care now because it doesn't matter. I finally have closure. I thought I'd have closure when I hit her, but of course I didn't. Closure has to come from personal acceptance of something I think, and I've accepted the situation as it is. Tamzin is Tamzin and she always will be. And I'm Annie.

In other news, my mother and my step father are trying to convince me to take politics for A levels. This woul dmean I'd have to drop either philosophy or sociology (There's no way in hell I'd be willing to drop history or English)

Philosophy seems a bit wimpy and fluffy and watery though, if you know what I mean. Covering silly little topics that you can just argue about for months on end and reach no conclusion. But sociology doesn't actually seem all that interesting either. Not in the first year especially. I don't know. Also I'm half thinking of taking a Science as well now, so I don't know. I'm going to have to work something out soon though.

I mean it's not like I don't have access to plenty of resources on all of these topics anyway. It's not liek I couldn't read books and suchlike without actually studying the whole course, but ... Oh I don't know. Like I said, I'll work something out.

On another note, if I were to have my little, ring and middle fingers removed on each hand, being left with just my thumbs and my forefingers, how many people would think I was really stupid? How many think it would look cool? Not that I actually plan on doing it you understand, I just think it would look .. unique..>