I only just got up. That would be a total of.. 12 hours sleep last night. I believe I got about 3 hours of sleep the night before. This isn't right. I need to fix this. Especially as the 12 hours of sleep only started from 3am.

So I got another review yesterday. Apparently I'm angry a lot. I'm not sure if I am. Well I am angry, but I'm not only angry, I think it's just that I don't write about the other emotions a lot. I find it much much easier to concentrate on negetive emotions.

I'm suprised that they didn't pick up on a lot of unhappiness as well though. It's like a force, for every action there will be an equal but opposite reaction. If something makes me happy, something about it is bound to make me sad as well.

For example if I'm having a great day enjoying myself, having fun, I'm bound to start thinking about how I want to tell somebody about it, and then I'll start thinking how that person isn't having fun right now, they're probably being forced to do work for no pay, in fact they get forced to do that a lot. They're living such a miserable life while I'm living such a good life.

And while the happiness will still be happening on one level, the sadness will be happening on another, and I'll concentrate on that rather than the happiness, one because I find it easier, and two because I see happiness as an almost fake and plastic emotion. And when I'm happy, I feel fake and plastic.

But when I'm sad I feel more satisfied with myself in a sense because I believe that I'm .. I don't know. More human or something. That I have a more healthy range of emotions. I don't really understand, but misery and anger are my two favourite emotions.

I think part of it is that I also find those emotions attractive in others. And yet when I do come across miserable people I want them to be happy. That makes me happy and not in a fake way. Oh I'm just a muddle of emotions. Maybe I should be shot. Shot for being 16 years old. >