Okay, so how about some new years resolutions, except it isn't new year, so I think just some regular resolutions.

1. I'm going to stop saying the same things over and over again (I'm ugly, I'm fat, I hate my teeth, I hate my body, I hate my hair, I hate my skin) And I'll try to stop caring so much about it.

2. When the solution is obvious I'll try to take it.

3. I'll try to stop being so boring (Although I know a lot of that is caused by saying the same things over and over)

4. I'll try to care less about what people think, and I'll try to be less self absorbed.

5. I won't do that stupid thing anymore. I'll start off with leaving it at least a month because that's what Randy wanted me to do, but I think then I'll stop altogether.

6. I'll start being more thankful that I'm NOT normal.

7. I won't make Randy answer questions again and again that I already know the answer to.

I'm sure I'll throw in some more resolutions at a later point, but if you do spot me breaking one or more of them, do inform me.. I'll uh... force myself to do homework in punishment or something.

So the question is, does all that limit my freedom of expression or does it simply make me better and everybody who talks to me less bored?

I think that generally it just makes me better and everybody who talks to me less bored, but I also think that I should probably be careful that it doesn't actually stop me from saying what I think or anything.

I was planning my wedding yesterday. I have no actual intention of getting married, but if I get married to a girl:

Pre-wedding I'll have a stag do / batchelor party, because if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a woman, I imagine that I'd want a night with all of my male friends. (Oh but not in a sex way).

For the actual wedding, we're both going to wear white wedding dresses, and walk down the alter together. Both of our fathers will give us away. (I origionally said that I wouldn't like to be given away because I don't belong to anybody, but tradition is fun)

I'm going to have both a best man and a maid of honour, as will my bride. Obviously Sibz will be my maid of honour, but as for a best man, I want it to be Randy if he can come to England for my wedding (Which he said he'd try) But if he can't, it's between Sam and Kalim, a tricky decision. On one hand, I've known Kalim much longer and have a relationship with him which I can't say that I could ever have with Sam, on the other hand, I like Sam better and he's one of my best friends. I think Kalim would be better for giving me away really, but that will be my father, so.. I guess not.

I guess it would be Sam.

But I'd want to give all of them a special place in my wedding, because they're all special. (Oh, Ben as well)

Lizzie of course will be a bridesmaid and she's going to be in the band too (Yes, I'm going to have a band at my wedding. Got a problem with that?)

I think Ben and Kalim and Sam will all just have to settle for making speeches. Well no, maybe Sam can just be a bridesmaid. I'm short of bridesmaids, mostly due to being short of female friends.

I guess Stephanie, Lizzie and my sisters would have to do.

Well any my bride of course would have a maid of honour and a best man too, maybe she'd choose some of them. Doubtful but possible.

My dress of course will be white, virgin or no virgin. I always liked the idea of getting married in a black dress (Like my gothic one that I spent ridiculous amounts of money on) But my wedding would be all traditional. Nah.. maybe not. My bride could have a white dress actually. I'm buying a veil and getting married in my black one!

We'll have beautiful rings, but she'll get to choose them, because I'm not good at that, and also I wouldn't have any real preferences.

The wedding reception is going to be strictly straightedge. No alcohol at all. And Lizzie, Sibz, Ben and Kalim are all going to be in the band. This will of course leave me void of a drummer... but hm... maybe Randy will do that as well. Sam can be the dancer *giggles*

I want them to play lake of fire, until it sleeps by metallica, heart shaped box by nirvana, seven nation army by the white stripes, warning by greenday, dancing queen by ABBA, um.. something non-depressing by staind (ha! I'll sure as hell give them credit if they manage that), karma police by radiohead, the day I tried to live by soundgarden, nothing else matters by metallica and all the things she said by tatu.

I'm sure I'll think of more at a later date.

I don't know where we're going to go on a honeymoon. I want to travel Europe. I think we're going to go on a honeymoon across Europe.

I don't know if Tamzin'll be allowed to show up to my wedding. I guess she kind of comes with Kalim. I shan't invite her but if she shows up I don't suppose I'll object. Much. >