Well if I'd started writing this entry half an hour earlier, you would have gotten a small pondering about my sudden realisation as to why people find the idea of vampirism sexy. As it is you're going to get some miserable crap about how much of an outcast I've always been. I'm sorry.

Popularity and acceptance. Nobody was ever really popular except for Tamzin. But it seemed like everybody was accepted but me. Me and a select few. In fact the only person I can think of who was even close to as outcasted as I is Sam.

Perhaps mine and Sam's friendship was formed mostly because of two lost souls finding one another. A bit like me and Lily (My primary school friend) We were just two lost souls in the playground who never really had anything in common.

But everybody else, whilst in their own little rings of friendship was on the whole, amongst the masses accepted. They just banded together to make the lives of a select few miserable.

I was famous. Everybody in the school knew me, but only a quater or less knew me by name.

And the funny thing is, it's been like that for the entire 5 years I was there. It's not something about me liking rock and them all liking rap or whatever the crap they like these days. It's not just that. It's about me being me. And that's not really my choice, because I've been brought up to be me and not them. Maybe it really is a class difference. But I don't think so, because I know middle class people who are as desperate as everybody else to be the same. To repress any form of individuality. But it's only gotten worse since I got into music.

But it hasn't really just been the last 5 years has it? People have looked down on me since I started school. Children tease, yes, but nothing like to the extent they did with me.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong?

Randy said that I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just different, but how the fuck could I be different at the age of 5!? HOW COULD I BE DIFFERENT AT THE AGE OF 5!? It's not a rhetorical question. Leave me a fucking note or something and explain. How the fuck? Why? Am I that much of a freak? Do you get the impression that I'm a freak?

Because the last I heard I was just a normal teenager. If I'm a normal teenager why don't I get treated like one? It doesn't really seem like a fair deal does it?

And you know who I'm going to blame? I'm going to blame Shreddies.

I HATE their advertising slogan. "It's just too tasty for geeks"

What the hell do they want? To rid our generation of any sort of intelligence? To promote the idea of one group of people being better than another? To encourage looking down on people who are different? Who have different interests? Am I a geek because I can read and write in proper English? Does this mean that if I eat Shreddies an animated version of me will have its head turn pink, eyes bulging out and then shoot up into the air with a bang?

And while we're on the subject of advertising and how much I hate it, how about that car insurance company that will only sell insurance to women. How fucked up is that? If they tried a similar company who would only sell to men they would be sued. They would be bankrupted. Christ they would never get away with it. Oh but inverse sexism is perfectly acceptable

No. It's not. It pisses me off. A lot.

Man, I'm done for today. But believe me, I will be back on this issue at some point soon (Both advertising and popularity / acceptance actually) >