I had such a scare last night. I was shaking, literally, and I couldn't breathe properly. Partly because I have a cold and partly because I literaly was not thinking to do it.

It was Stephanie's fault. Stephanie's fault for jumping to conclusions, Stephanie's fault for not even ASKING what the thing I'd told Tamzin was, and assuming that it was "That Thing" God knows why she thought it was "That Thing" but she gave me a false impression that Tamzin knew about it.

I instantly messaged Tamzin with, "Who the fuck's been telling you things about me!?" she didn't know what I was talking about. I added Stephanie to the conversation, I was seriously shaking, I wanted to know who had been spreading it around. It turned out that Stephanie thought that I'd told Tamzin (I had actually told Tamzin about Ryan, in order to correct her on a rumor that she'd heard that we were going out), I'd freaked out and in order to get out of Tamzin who'd told her about the other thing, she ended up telling her herself.

Tamzin wanted to know if I was okay.

It's nice to think that she still cares whether I'm okay or not, but I don't think that she really does. I think asking that was probably just her making me think that she cares about me so that she can use me again. It really scared me that I did come out and tell her that I was okay though. I should have just kept my mouth shut and left the conversation. But I had to make her promise not to tell anybody, and she did, instantly, with an "Of course". I think I trust her not to. I mean, I don't trust her, I just don't think that she will.

Well, she might tell Kalim, that's my main worry. But if she does, maybe that will cause the bastard to call me like he promised.

And another thing! Stephanie was behaving like a little kid, grassing up a kid in the playground to an adult. The amusing part being that Tamzin was the adult. I told Tamzin that I'd decided to stop, and she was like "Yeah! But she stopped eating for 3 days!"

1. That isn't true, I did eat.

2. The reason for my not eating a huge amount was a loss of appetite, not anything else.

3. Even if that was the case, why the hell was she telling Tamzin about it?

One day she is going to push me over the edge. Nearly did yesterday, althoguh I guess that was mostly just misunderstanding and bad communication. But you would not believe how much I was shaking. >