Today I want to talk about gender and sexuality.

I was lying in bed last night and I was thinking about what an important role men and boys have played in my life in comparison to women.

Most girls say that they feel closer bonds with other women and can relate to them better, etc. I don't and can't.

In fact the only part of my life that girls are slightly dominant in is my sexuality. Sexually, I generally find girls more attractive. I want to fuck them more. They make me horny. Whatever. But it really ends there.

Romantically, I'd say that boys ever so slightly have the upper hand. I just seem to like properties that girls don't have. For instance I hate bitchiness. I really despise it. Sometimes I'm bitchy myself, but I dislike it so much in other people. I just like the idea of a big strong chivalrous bloke sweeping me off my feet and rescuing me. It's a romantic ideal. I think sex and romance aren't differentiated a lot. Because when people say "Sexuality" ... they seem to role physical, chemical and mental attraction into one. And they can't really be roled into one. I'm physically more attracted to girls, and perhaps chemically too... but mentally, yeah, I'd say that I can't really see a relationship between me and another female lasting more than a week.

In terms of parenting, I look up to both my father and my step father more than I do my mother. It's just the way it is. Now it might be miy mother specifically that I have a problem with, but her attitude to things seems similar to a lot of women. She's the one that wants the tidy house. She's the one that worries about how people perceive her. She's the one that gets all over protective. And I do not like it. My step dad and my dad are both far more interesting, and generally.. have more about them that I aspire to. Even though my dad can be conservative scum, he has some attitudes about life that I feel willing to adopt. I just find paternity more important I guess.

In terms of easily making friends, I find it impossible to make friends with girls straight away. They're all shy and girly and giggly and give nervous laughs when you use cool conversation openers like, "I'm going to be dictator of the world. You can be my subordinate" or "Hey, I think I stalked you once" I mean it's just like... "Okay? I'm not being serious. Say somehting back."

And their way of talking to you is different too. I have found that out of all my friends, the male ones tend to be the best conversationalists. Girls ask too many questions. And closed ones. Closed questions are not a good way of starting conversation. You have to be a bit more general to hit something which the other perosn is interersted in. Stuff like "Where did you go to school?" is NOT going to spark conversation. Not ever. It's stupid.

When I make friends with girls, 90% of the time it's because I've made friends with a male and he's introduced me to some of his female friends. I can't talk to them right off.

Obviously my Best Friend is female, and yeah, hell, she's great. But ... her gender just doesn't matter. For all I care she could have testicles and dress in jeans and a VERY baggy t-shirt and I wouldn't give a crap. It would not change my relationship with her. I barely notice the fact that she is female. Well, actually I have at one point, when I kind of needed to talk to a girl, and Sibz seemed the easy option. But even then, I opted for somebody else. Sibz is just Sibz. She's not a girl even though she can be very girly.

And most of the closest friends I've had, have been male anyway. It's just that my current bestest best one is a girl.

Boys are also more jokey, and just.. more easy to communicate with. I don't know, I just feel I have a lot more in common with the male species than the female one, that's all.

I mean I'm not saying that I feel male, far from it. I like to be girly, I like to be ME. But I do feel more comfortable around boys.

The other thing that I just want to breifly bring up, is the wording. With girls, you can pretty much use the word "Girls" whatever the age range, well not quite, but there's no different word for a child and a teenage female.

With boys it's more difficult. Becuase there is a gap between boys and men and it seems so much bigger than girls and women. There is an in between, "Guys" but that is SO American. Argh. I don't know. This has been ranty. But I kind of needed to get it all out.>