It's funny how much of a hypocrite I am. I'm misunderstood and yet I don't understand anybody else. Maybe being misunderstood is my punishment for that.

I don't have a true sense of empathy (Does anyone?) But I expect people to feel empathy for me. Maybe a lack of empathy is my punishment for that.

It's a stuggle that I'm alone in, but so is everybody else. Maybe we can be lonely together?

I think lonliness, if you're sixteen years old, you just have to live with. But I think you can come to love it. Or I hope so. I don't like to be under the glare of the wrathful spotlight anyway.

I am misunderstood, but it's funny how many people THINK they understand me. They tell me what I am when they really have no clue.

Ezra for example. He thinks he has me down completely, hell even I thought he did for a minute there. But he doesn't. He's just the same as Kalim and Ben. He can get the superficial explanations, but all the rest is just plain wrong. He reads between the lines and finds an anagram.

Specific example? Okay, how about my wardrobe. Contains lots of black and lots of very bright colours. Lots of weird and wonderful clothes. I could never fit in while wearing them. But it's a mistake to assume that's what I want.

My clothes are about me. They're about the way I see myself. I don't dress to stand out, but I do dress to look good. I feel that I look good in what I wear.

Should I change for them? Can't seem to get respect from anybody while I'm dressed in black. But how can I get respect from myself if I'm dressed in Nike? Who is it that I need respect from more? The answer is both. I can't be happy without both. And so there is no simple solution.

I'd better just leave myself to be misunderstood. Everybody else is.

I wonder whether it goes away as you age or if you just get used to it? Maybe I'll do a survey or something.

Today as Ben was walking down the street behind me with some girl, he said, "You can walk with us you know Annie, you don't have to walk ahead looking lonely."

I responded, "Oh, but I am lonely, and angry, and all kinds of pissed off" and walked a little faster.

Oh I think he knows that usually when I do that, it is because I want company. But right now I just want to be left alone. I can't be bothered trying anymore. I need time to myself. I need to work this out.

I want to be understood but I don't think that's an option.

May have to settle for being accepted.>