I hurt. My body, my mind. Both hurt. Argh. Why must I be so depressed? I think maybe I tempted fate by saying that I wished I understood. Well, no, it's not like I haven't been this unhappy before, I have, I've been more unhappy. But this is different. There's no real explanation. I have friends, my life's getting good, and then BAM! I have to be all depressed. Ah well, what choice do I have but to deal with it and keep going? Hopefully it'll get better soon.

History was as usual today. Brief conversation with Ezra, Florence and Lucinda, did some work. Nearly fell asleep (I was so tired). But the best (Or worst, it pissed me off at the time, but amuses me now) bit was when I said soemthing about being apathetic to get out of answering a question, and then he let me off answering it, and set some work, and I was sitting there, I read the article, but I couldn't be bothered to make notes. So I was sitting there re-reading it, and he came up to me and started smiling in his stupid sarcastic way, and he said, "So what have you picked up from this article"

I responded with the wittiest thing that I could think of in my crampy condition, "Well, Musollini evidently did not like apathy"

And the little son of a bitch replies, "Well, I'm sure you have more problems than just apathy, but still, could you do the work?" Ezra and I both look up at him, Lucinda and Florence turn round and look at him too, and I said, "Oh? Like what?"

I expected him to make a snide remark about me not having done the homework, instead he says (Still smiling in his sarcastic way), "Well you know, lonliness, boredom, feeling isolated...depression. Not that I'm saying they're relevant to you, you know, just rough.."

But I'd heard enough, of course that was what he was saying. I was already pissed off. I don't know what made me more angry, his assumptions or the way he smirked as he gave them. But I was furious.

I just smiled and said, "Oh really?" then I did the work so the fucker would just leave me alone. I hate him. I really hate him. And I hate him even more after that. Even if he was going to say that, he shouldn't in front of Ezra and Florence and Lucinda, and I'm pretty sure Ben who was in front of me, the person next to him both heard as well. And I wasn't exactly embarrassed, because I'm pretty sure they'd all agree that he was jumping to bloody conclusions and being arrogant and sarcastic inappropriately as usual. But ... oh. I'm just annoyed.

Then sociology. At this point I was in too much (Physical) pain to do any work at all. I sat there just wishing the lesson would end. I got talking with this girl about films, but she hadn't seen any of the ones I liked. And she's a film studies student! It's shameful! She'd never heard of Donnie Darko, or Blade Runner, or Requiem For a Dream, or even Trainspotting. I was shocked!

We also talked about sexuality and changing attitudes and stuff. She's quite interesting.

Then I went home, had a shower, and I ought to phone Ryan so I can get my CDs back, and cause it's probably begining to look like I'm avoiding him.

Exciting day.>