I had two incredibly vivid dreams last night, and neither were particularly pleasant.

In the first dream, we were being attacked by vampires, (Funny, I haven't watched Buffy in months)that is me, both my sisters and non-orange Ryan. It was odd though, because it was kind of the wrong way round. The only way they could kill us was to shoot us through the heart. Anyway:

I was near the one sister (Ruth) and Ryan was all the way across the room with my other sister (Naomi) and it was horrible, because I was protecting Ruth the best I could, and I had to trust him to protect Naomi, which I didn't, cause she's my sister. And anyhow, we all came out of the ordeal alive, but I thought for a moment that Naomi wasn't alive - even in my sleep I was traumatised. Then me and Ryan went outside, and he told me that his friend had been killed earlier that day, and that the reason he'd come over was to try to take his mind off it, and I was so upset for him. I just hugged him.

And then in my other dream, well, it was more a memory. I remembered the death of my hamster when I was about 7. I remembered wandering into my mothers room and teling her that, "Rachel's asleep and she won't wake up!" I still remember her cold stiff body that morning. And I've always felt like it was my fault, even though it really wasn't. But it could have been. I always forgot how much bigger than her I was. Maybe I was too rough with her. I know it's only a hamster, but I kind of miss her.

Anyway, lately I've been reading Charlotte's web to my sister. And it just occured to me what a good book it is the other day. There are some great quotes and comments on life. I like the bit where the doctor is talking about how Fern will always love animals, but there will come a day when she will become more interested in "Henry Fussy" than uncle Homer's barn. I think that's kind of sad. But true.

But not as sad as when Charlotte dies. I don't know about my sister, but I'm not sure I'll be able to keep from crying. I love Charlotte. She's just the kind of ... person? ... I'd wanna be like. Except a person and not a spider. It's sweet how she saves Wilbur's life even though she's going to die herself.

Hm... going out with my dad today, in the morning. Ryan in the afternoon. Can't decide what to wear.>