I'm a real fuck up. I really fucked up my English exam. Mega fucked it up. It's awful, unstructured and in places, makes me look like a fascist. I can't write today. I have politics homework due in tomorrow and I should probably do some of the homework I owe her too. Funny, Sheila is without a doubt my favourite teacher. But I don't do any of her homework. I know I don't have to.

It's unfair but it's simple. I am a clever person. A lot of people in my class put all their effort in and get Jack Shit in return. I get loads of praise and compliments for being naturally intelligent even without doing any work. It's fucked up and unfair. But hey, I like it. And take advantage of it. And who wouldn't? I don't know...

The most frustrating thing though? Being clever but not the cleverest. Being second best. It's worse than coming last. We're meant to do a role play in politics next week. Guess who got thre role of deputy prime minister? ME! Guess who got the role of prime minister? Louis. I know he's cleverer than me. I know he's more articulate than me. I know he doens't do any more work than I do. It's frustrating. I hate being second best. I told Sheila that, I said "That's like saying... that's like saying 'your just second best'" She responded, "Actually, you are"

I know I am. I'm always second best. I was in primary school. I was second to Olgu. In secondary school - Ben and Kalim. In college, Louis. Other people too of course. Those are just the ones that stand out. And I always get labelled second best.

It doesn't upset me, it just frustrates me. It's clear that I can run rings around the vast majority of the people there. I have no desire to, but knowing I can is enough. I hate coming in second. I HATE coming in second. Just wait til I take over the world. Muahahahahha!!!>