It's funny. I feel really trapped. Trapped between two worlds.

Between being my own jailer, sitting there contemplating suicide because I don't see how anyone can be happy, because I don't see what makes life worth living. Becuase I feel less genuine when I'm happy.

And between being free like Jo. Knowing what I want, knowing how to get it, being realistic, being myself, showing who I am, and most of all, being fucking free. Having my head screwed on, being sensible, but being free.

There's other stuff I want to say, but it's not appropriate. The detail I want to put it in would ... contribute to the general mood of this website. And I don't know if that's a mood I want to contribute to at the moment.

I've never fit in with the whole depressed thing though, because I'm not sad. I'm angry.>