I'm angry, my parents behave like kids. My sister is a spoiled brat.

We went out for lunch today with a couple of my mum and step dad's friends and their kids. All very nice. My mum has a bit too much to drink. Doesn't really matter.

Anyway, I'm sitting there and I'm bored shitless. They're talking about people ho I don't know. I just want to go home. And then my mother has this idea that we go out for dinner. My step dad tells her that we can't afford it. I tell her that I'm bored and tired and I just want to go home. My sisters tell her that they're cold and they want to go home.

Jane and David (their friends) have left at this point. We leave too. My mum and my step dad start arguing in the middle of the street about going out for dinner. My mum really wants to go and now she's going insane to my step dad about not being able to afford it, and how it's his fault that they can't afford it. (I'm not quite sure how this works, but whatever) He gets angry and storms off, so she deicdes to start going on at him about how he's acting like a child, as if she isn't herself.

WHen he becomes more angry, she decides that I have to talk to him, because "You're better with him than I am" Might that be because I don't intentionally TRY to piss him off!?

Anyway, I'm saying that they're being stupid and gion gout to dinner would be a stupid idea because none of us want to go and they'll just be at eachother's throats anyway. Not to mention, my mother is drunk. My step dad agrees with me, and then suddenly she's at his throat for always taking my side. (Which is NOT true. We're always fucking arguing. The other day he decided to take vengeance and swithc the internet off because I was talking through a TV show he wanted to watch)

At the same time as their arguing by the way, my sister is screaming about how I won't give her tennis ball back because she keeps fucking aroud with it and I can just see it going into the road. And she's standing there going, "TELL ANNIE TO GIVE MY BALL BACK. NOW!" in the middle of a massive fucking argument. How spoiled can you get!? I HATE my family someitmes.

And my other sister has a cold, and she's stnading there freeszing, and I've given her 2 layers of my clothes, so I'm just standing there in a t-shirt, and I fucking want to leave and my mum and step dad are behaving like children. I am NOT a responsible adult. I am NOT the one who should have to break up such arguments. I should NOT have to look after my sisters while they behave like kids and can't even wait until they get home. I mean WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with them!?

And anyway, agaisnt all logic, they end up going out to dinner. I refuse to go, and that's the reason I'm sitting here typing this. There's no food in the house and my mother won't let me eat her fucking grapes. As if she can't buy more. So do you know what? I'm angry. I start being sensible about eating (although to be fair she doesn't know that) and she won't give me money to buy some food. Even though she's spending a fortune at a fucking resturant that they CANNOT AFFORD.

ANd I hate my mum sometimes. My step dad might lose his temper sometimes, and sulk, and storm off, and threaten to just take the kids and go live in Bristol. But do you know what? In an argument he is nearly always in the right. And when he's not, unlike my mother, he can accept it. And it really bugs me. Because out of all of my parents (meaning my mum, my dad and my step dad) he's the one I'm closest to.

And you know what, if a single person reads my diary and thinks some weird incestual thing is going on because I'm closer to my step dad than my mum, I will personally find out where you live and blow your head off with a machine gun for being so disgusting.

Anyway, when they argue, I get scared. Scared that they might split up, even though I know that it's so unlikely, because they work so well together 90% of the time. But it scares me. Because if I said I wanted to go with my step dad and not her, my mum would be so betrayed. I'd probably end up going to live with my dad so as not to take sides. I know this isn't going to happen. But I don't like the thought.

I'm sorry this has been so rantish. I'll be back to normal tomorrow.>